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Deep Thoughts by Jay [entries|friends|calendar]

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Hey [11 Jan 2008|05:18pm]
[ mood | curious ]

I haven't posted on here in years, does anyone still use this? I've been addicted to Myspace lately so I basically never go on here anymore.  

9 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

FRIENDS ONLY! [03 Jan 2008|05:28am]
[ mood | dorky ]

If you want to be added or were taken off, please leave a comment stating:
1.Your name
2.Your age
3.Where you are from
4.Something I will remember you by
5.How you came across my journal
if you feel you responded to my last entry and I deleted you by mistake please comment and I will re-add you.

303 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Important! [14 Oct 2005|02:47pm]
My girlfriend is participating in a breast cancer walk on Sunday. If you would like to donate to the American Cancer Society to help the fight against breast cancer through me, Please go to my personal donation page
. Thank you so much!
2 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Input greatly appreciated! [26 Aug 2005|02:13pm]
[ mood | curious ]

So I have decided I am getting a Chihuahua! This little guy is freaking adorable! I am just unsure of what to name him, the ideas in the running are; Jack, Bailey, Chewy, Gizmo. Those are the few currently. I originally wanted to name him Marley, but I had a cat that I took in for a while that I named that so I think it would be unfair to name this lil guy that as well. Here are some pics, and yeah I haven't used this site in ages so I've forgotten how to use lj-cut , if you remind me I will oblige.

Click here for numerous pictures of the lil puppy!Collapse )

14 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Bright Eyes Live on Jay Leno -When the President talks to God [10 May 2005|07:55pm]
I'm surprised they showed this on the Tonight Show!

7 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[05 May 2005|02:19am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Wow I rarely update this thing or even go on here anymore, I'm much more obsessed with myspace is probably the reason! If you have Myspace let me knowwwwww!!!!!!!! People have found me from elementary school!

So while walking in my normally creepingly quiet neighborhood where I rarely ever see people outside let alone people my age, I happened to walk by an suv and to my shock I saw somebody getting head, I gave the guy a thumbs up and thought it was hilarious, I think the girl lives in my complex, but I've never seen her with anyone besides her dogs before, good for her! Quite humorous, but really it made me more frustrated and somewhat envious ha. Ah well, at least somebody is getting theirs!

So onto another subject, I'm single again. I kind of always get into that honeymoon phase and then fall out of it, I convince myself how awesome she is and how great she is and how much we hit it off and all that jazz then it always seems to lose that initial overexaggerated enthusiasm. I don't want to settle...again, that's for sure, no need to confuse security and comfort with actual feelings more than that. I always get caught up in that initial attraction and then reality kicks in. I've always been a sucker for a pretty face then those flaws come into play and it's just like I lose interest and can't even imagine what I used to see, it's like a psychological mindfuck! Like I psychologically set myself up for a game of cat and mouse and once I see they have feelings I just seem to lose interest. However I don't believe that to really be the case it just seems to be it. I remember a while back there was someone and I orginally thought it wasn't going to work out, I even cheated then I realized how incredible they were and tried my hardest to work it out, tried not to argue and if we did I tried to initiate forgiveness because it isn't even worth the argument, you can't just throw it away, otherwise what's the point, if you do it was just a waste! You have to work hard for it, and I really didn't see those imperfection, I thoroughly was engulfed by them and their everything and that lasted a few years. I guess I just wonder if I will have that again, because for the past couple years it sure doesn't seem like it. It's that initial head over heels schoolyard smitten crushing, then a month or so and it's like cold soup. It's like you try to convince yourself of how great and how much potential the relationship and the person has but then it seems like it all falls apart, it's unexplainable. Blah! Ok I am way too tired of complaining and I've probably already said too much!

Then there are the things that really matter, my Grandmother is in the hospital , she has a blod clot in her leg, which worries me because she has had many healthy problems in the recent past, and I've heard bad things about blood clots, and they want her to stay a few days and she doesn't want to at all. Then there is the situation with my Dad, I still don't think I've fully faced that, and I'm unsure how to feel about the whole thing or what it means for my family and it's just so shocking. I wonder if I would have been better off not reading those emails, blah I guess the truth is better, no matter how much it's hard to swallow, BLAH!

Send me a ship so I can sail away back to the 80's where things were so much more carefee for me and everything had an air or happiness, even those dark memories seems surrounded by happy ones and I can't help but want to break out into dance when I think of those funky memories, all of them!

14 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

You remind me of when I knew who I was [15 Mar 2005|12:48am]
[ mood | blah ]

It kills me everytime you call. To hear your voice, it so hard to believe it's been so long.

It's always the same, whenever you're not in a relationship you always overanalyze every past relationship, which is what I have been doing like crazy. I'm "talking"/ "seeing" someone currently, but there always seems to be some sort of issue. Distance, detachment, whatever. I have just been really overanalyzing past relationships. I often find myself thinking of you, and where things went wrong. I often wonder if you ever think of me and the same things. I think we just met too soon. It always comes back to you, regardless of what is going on in my life. It always comes back to you.

6 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[10 Mar 2005|02:34am]
[ mood | blah ]

Sometimes when you're down and feeling in a bad way, the littlest thing someone says can mean so much, and even though it seems so minuscule it means so much.

I was going to write this lengthy post but perhaps another time, I am quite tired currently, I think I shall retire to my bed now. Goodnight to all and to all sweet dreams!

Crappy Camera phone pic :

12 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Blah............. [07 Mar 2005|01:30am]
[ mood | pensive ]

You know how you meet someone and you just convince yourself how great they are and totally forget reality and get so sucked in, and maybe you just so want to believe, believe in something, and then when you realize nothing is perfect and then it all comes crashing down and everything you brainwashed yourself and tried to look past doesn't seem so perfect anymore, and maybe it's our parents fault for trying to shelter us and putting us in front of those disney tales and trying to tell us everything is perfect and we were still naive, but I guess you can't blame anyone because it's great they try to do that and shelter us from reality. I guess when I'm not in a relationship I just over anaylze every past relationship. I've come a long way in certain aspects. I'm still a sucker for a pretty face, that's my weakness, the attraction, I guess that's always how it goes though. It's still hard to say no when I know it isn't the best situation.

It's funny someone said I don't write in here earlier, and here I am. Also I know people have taken me off their list for not commenting but this shouldn't be our only means of communication. I got my computer fixed had to pay like $200 and lost like half my music which sucks cause I sold a bunch of cd's and put them on my computer so lost a lot of music, at least I can use my computer now though. If anyone has aim , feel free to message me anytime, Absolutsublime5 .

I really like this song, I've been listening to it on repeat for like hours ha.

I am such a huge procrastinator. I've semi started to work out again, well I worked out a few days this week, and I think I'm going to really get sucked into working out and all that again. I used to be such a health freak, my body is a temple kind of deal, and was always working out, I guess it was a release and an escape, much like everything I do. I already have that feeling. I get a little OCD with things, I can picture myself doing that with working out, like the time in my life I'm in is a huge transition period and I think I'm just going to be working out a lot, which is good I need to get back in shape, not that I'm real bad or anything but I was in better shape before. I remember when I was younger I was always outside playing basketball, I'd barely eat, I'd be outside all day and night til 2 or 3 in the morning, shooting in the dark sometimes, it helped the vision, I remember sleeping with my basketball, I remember those cold days being locked out and practicing my jumper in the snow and then just brushing the snow off the ball and shooting again, I remember how cold and red my hands were , I remember shooting till they were numb and I couldn't follow through anymore. Blah I haven't been sleeping well in so long, I've forgotten how long it's been.

Birthday month, Matt and Andy's birthday was the other day and the 8th is my ex's birthday, who is going to be down here celebrating, Bogdan's bday is coming up, then Schmoil's then whoever else, March and November are the big birthday months for people I know.

Being positive is hard when you've been stuck in such negativity and surrounded by it for so long. I'm definitely my own worst enemy, it's time for big changes.

3 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[28 Feb 2005|02:52pm]
So we are supposed to get a foot of snow today, 12 freaking inches, greeeeeeeaaaaaaatttt!
Just when I thought winter was over, and that we had a very unseasonably warm winter all of a sudden lots of snow.
3 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[20 Feb 2005|01:15am]
[ mood | blah ]

Haven't really been in the mood to write in here in a bit. The Superbowl was interesting, I loved the halftime show with Paul Mccartney, and personally think that is the better type of entertainment than freaking britney spears or nelly or crap that's popular for that moment, give us something with sustenance and worth listening to.

So my parents still haven't sold their place because they wanted to redo certain things, one of which was their bathroom. Well last week they wanted to get it done on the weekend and they were told they couldn't come friday, but yet at 9am they came on friday, the guy was here until 8:30 at night, he left at one point for like 2 hours because the fumes made him sick, he was getting irritated towards the end because the job was taking longer than he expected and he couldn't get the new sliding glass doors to work right so then he cracked one of the doors, he then proceeded to say he can't deal with this right now and left, leaving my parents without doors and unable to use their shower and left all kids of boxes, and junk everywhere, he even left his little rugs and gloves and trash and food outside. So it was this big ordeal and we had to call the company and they apologized blah blah blah, apparently the guy never came back to work, and now it is going to take time to reorder the doors. Blah!

I watched the NBA Slam dunk contest tonight, and in the 2nd round there was just a phenomenal dunk, off the backboard off another players head and alley ooped off his head and dunked, just awesome!

Saw some horrible movies lately, Napoleon Dynamite, Dodgeball, Without a paddle, ughhh all sucked in my opinion. I actually got into an argument with someone over Dodgeball because to them it was so great, it wasn't funny and it just plain stunk and Ben Stiller isn't funny! I did like some of his movies but his past like 8 have been horrendous. I really don't see what everyone's obsession with Napoleon Dynamite is, I thought it was just plain monotonous and dreadful.

3 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Sheesh! [03 Feb 2005|07:25pm]
I was watching the news last night and I heard a story that seemed rather shocking and appalling to me, maybe just because it isn't the norm for me and my culture. An Orthodox Rabbi gave 3 babies herpes causing one baby to die, by performing an ultra Orthodox circumcision where he uses his moth to draw out the blood around the *cough* area of circumcision.

Also saw the huge fight down south at a girl's basketball game, it was nuts! Chairs were being thrown, everyone was involved in the brawl, people were punching everyone, kicking people, it reminded me of the fight that broke out down south during the Martin Luther king day parade, where tons of girls were all out brawling and kicking,punching each other like ignorant enraged animals. It's like people are reduced to such barbaric subhuman intelligence, just animalistic and primal rage consumes them. You just see it and you're just in awe. It would seem to me people of intelligence and right minds would want to break up the brawl or either get away from it not just join in it.
1 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Is it so hard to find..... [02 Feb 2005|08:35pm]
I'm tired of negative and hurtful people. We all have our issues it's all how you deal with them, but there is no reason to be hurtful or negative to anyone, it won't make you feel any better, no one wants to be around people who say hurtful or negative things to them. I know I don't deserve that.
4 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Wow [30 Jan 2005|03:22pm]
I just saw a commercial for the movie Ray coming out on dvd this tuesday! Already?! Sheesh! It's ridiculous! Movies aren't even out in theater for a month now and no movie is number one for longer than a couple weeks and then like 2 months later it comes out on dvd. For this movie it doesn't even seem that long!
22 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

I went to high school with this girl! [27 Jan 2005|05:49pm]
I just happened to come across this in FHM,

Ha! It's always neat to see someone from high school in such a forum!
17 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

Forget Hot 97 [25 Jan 2005|03:09am]
Has anyone heard about the Hot 97 making fun of the Tsunami victims and basically asians in general? I heard it and it was simply disgusting and I'm just outraged ,the two dj's should be fired immediately! Most of what I am reading didn't even say the worst parts, at one point one dj said they should go around shooting asian people, and they made a song making fun of those killed in the Tsunami, then when the Asian reporter that works there, Miss Info tried to say she thought it was wrong the female dj copped an attitude and was all like "oh you think you're better because you're asian?", Wow just wow, seriously horrendously ignoarnt people that should not be on air. “You can hear the chinks being washed away,You can hear God laughing, ’Swim you bitches, swim,I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head and now the children will be sold to child slavery”’ are some lines in the song. Opie and Anthony and Howard Stern have never even done anything remotely like that. Here is the msn link for it

Here is a link to the actual song, http://www.thesilent1.com/USA_For_Indonesia.mp3
Hot 97 used to have it on their site for about a week but now they have removed it.

Here is a Hip Hop site that is standing up against it as well http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/000759.html

I'm just shocked that they have had this on air for a week and on their site for a week and have not denounced it or anything until now!
7 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[06 Jan 2005|01:39am]
I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
32 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

[30 Dec 2004|01:31am]
all eyes on the calendar
another year i claim of total indifference
to here the days pile up
with decisions to be made
i'm sure all of them were wrong
into this song, i send myself
and with these drinks i plan to collapse and forget
this wasted year
these wasted years
devoted friends, they disappear
i'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
some decisions you don't make
i guess it's like breathing and not wanting to
there are some things that you can't fake
i guess that it is typical
to cling to memories you'll never get back again
and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago
or a friend that you used to know
and there, below his frozen face
you wrote the name and that ancient date
and you can't believe he is really gone
when all that's left is a fucking song
i'm sorry about the phone call and waking you
i know that its late
but thank you for talking because i needed to
some things just can't wait
Brush it off .

!!!!!!!!!!! [29 Dec 2004|01:47am]
Powerful earthquake, tsunamis strike South Asia, leaving thousands dead, injured and missing

They are expecting the death toll rate to be over 100,000 ! Not to mention the diesease expected to develop.

Sunday, December 26, 2004 — The largest earthquake to strike the globe since 1964 has caused devastating tsunami waves that have killed thousands in south Asia. The 8.9-magnitude quake hit December 26 off the coast of Indonesia, triggering these extremely large waves that have brought massive flooding, damage and loss of life in the region.

Waves as high as 20 feet have crashed into the coastal areas near the Bay of Benegal. Among the worst affected countries are Sri Lanka and India, as well as Indonesia, Maldives and Thailand. Reports are that thousands of people are missing, and it is possible that the number of dead may tragically rise in the coming days.

International Red Cross and Red Crescent societies in south Asia have begun to mobilize staff and volunteers to affected areas to assist with the immediate needs. Emergency assessment and first-aid teams have already reached some of the affected areas.

“The situation is fluid, with so many people affected in so many areas of southeast Asia, and it is likely that relief teams there may need many different types of assistance in the coming days,” said Matthew Parry of the International Disaster Response Unit at the American Red Cross.

The American Red Cross continues to maintain contact with its partners on the ground and is prepared to support operations with relief supplies, financial assistance or personnel as requested by our sister International Red Cross and Red Crescent societies there.

You can help those affected by this crisis and countless others around the world each year by making a financial gift to the American Red Cross International Response Fund, which will provide immediate relief and long-term support through supplies, technical assistance, and other support to those in need. Call 1-800-HELP NOW or 1-800-257-7575 (Spanish). Contributions to the International Response Fund may be sent to your local American Red Cross chapter or to the American Red Cross International Response Fund, P.O. Box 37243, Washington, DC 20013. Internet users can make a secure online contribution by visiting www.redcross.org.

Please help them, the earthquake could have happened here!!! when you help others, you help yourself!! Too many people think that since it hasn't happened here it doesn't effect them, if it had happened here there would be so more people talking about it and showing attention. PLEASE HELP!

donate to disaster relief fund

Brush it off .

[25 Dec 2004|12:00am]

9 Birdy Birdy/ES | Brush it off .

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