You know how you meet someone and you just convince yourself how great they are and totally forget reality and get so sucked in, and maybe you just so want to believe, believe in something, and then when you realize nothing is perfect and then it all comes crashing down and everything you brainwashed yourself and tried to look past doesn't seem so perfect anymore, and maybe it's our parents fault for trying to shelter us and putting us in front of those disney tales and trying to tell us everything is perfect and we were still naive, but I guess you can't blame anyone because it's great they try to do that and shelter us from reality. I guess when I'm not in a relationship I just over anaylze every past relationship. I've come a long way in certain aspects. I'm still a sucker for a pretty face, that's my weakness, the attraction, I guess that's always how it goes though. It's still hard to say no when I know it isn't the best situation.
It's funny someone said I don't write in here earlier, and here I am. Also I know people have taken me off their list for not commenting but this shouldn't be our only means of communication. I got my computer fixed had to pay like $200 and lost like half my music which sucks cause I sold a bunch of cd's and put them on my computer so lost a lot of music, at least I can use my computer now though. If anyone has aim , feel free to message me anytime, Absolutsublime5 .
I really like this song, I've been listening to it on repeat for like hours ha.
I am such a huge procrastinator. I've semi started to work out again, well I worked out a few days this week, and I think I'm going to really get sucked into working out and all that again. I used to be such a health freak, my body is a temple kind of deal, and was always working out, I guess it was a release and an escape, much like everything I do. I already have that feeling. I get a little OCD with things, I can picture myself doing that with working out, like the time in my life I'm in is a huge transition period and I think I'm just going to be working out a lot, which is good I need to get back in shape, not that I'm real bad or anything but I was in better shape before. I remember when I was younger I was always outside playing basketball, I'd barely eat, I'd be outside all day and night til 2 or 3 in the morning, shooting in the dark sometimes, it helped the vision, I remember sleeping with my basketball, I remember those cold days being locked out and practicing my jumper in the snow and then just brushing the snow off the ball and shooting again, I remember how cold and red my hands were , I remember shooting till they were numb and I couldn't follow through anymore. Blah I haven't been sleeping well in so long, I've forgotten how long it's been.
Birthday month, Matt and Andy's birthday was the other day and the 8th is my ex's birthday, who is going to be down here celebrating, Bogdan's bday is coming up, then Schmoil's then whoever else, March and November are the big birthday months for people I know.
Being positive is hard when you've been stuck in such negativity and surrounded by it for so long. I'm definitely my own worst enemy, it's time for big changes.